Change me, Lord!

As I sat in my little schoolroom, Shiloh, this morning, imagining that Christ Jesus was sitting in the red chair behind the Teacher's desk, (yes, I know that I am pretty simple, actually a little booklet, My Heart, Christ's Home taught me to do that), I spoke with Him about many issues and many people- legitimate concerns for many souls who I know and love. I know loved ones who don't know Him as their Savior and Lord, (Rom. 10:9-10), others who aren't "in-tune" with the closeness of the day approaching (Rom. 13:11)...

many struggling with physical problems and I am praying diligently that Jehovah Rapha will bring healing to their bodies. I have been studying the Apostle Paul's prayers and note, though, that his prayers for those he loved dearly were concerned with their spiritual conditions because he knew that spiritual enlightenment and an intimacy with their God would sustain them through the trials and tests that are common to all of mankind.

But, as I finished my prayer for others, I opened my Bible and said, "Lord, I want to show up every day in Your classroom, open Bible and open heart, ultimately for the purpose that You change me so my life is not lived in vain but that it brings You glory which is the reason for my existence." Do you remember the old spiritual that goes like this? "It's not my brother nor my sister, Lord, but me standing in the need of prayer." Oh, I am so good at and probably you too, at recognizing how everyone else in my life needs to change. "Oh, Lord, if my spouse would just get his or her act together." "If the kids would be more grateful and kinder." (What are they observing from our lives?) "Where did these drivers get their licenses- from Sears and Roebuck?" :)  "If, if, if.........". Oh my, we can see so clearly the tiny speck in our brothers' and sisters' eyes while we knock them down with our planks protruding from our own as we get close for the purpose of straightening out their lives.

At the first of this year, our pastor gave us a list of 31 questions which challenged me, uncomfortably, to ask ourselves, not the fellow parishioner on our right or left, but for me to "consider my ways", as the O.T. prophet exhorted. Here's one of those questions that was posed- "In what area do you need growth and what will you do about it in the year 2010?" Yes, I warned you that they were uncomfortably challenging! I have thought about that one, fellow sojourner, long and hard, and actually there are many things I want Him to work on and here is an observation - We all would have less time to "meddle" in others' affairs if we would focus on life-change in our own lives.  Now, once I had ladies confirm that I felt terribly pressed, when sharing Scripture to be balanced. So. quickly, there are time when the "truth spoken in love" (Eph. 4:15), may fall on us.Actually, pastors are called to do that regularly. I prayed about this just this morning that when He requires that from me, I would have boldness to do so and love as my motivation. A good spiritual barometer in my life is my reaction to constructive criticism from those He places along my way to help me, usually coming from those who I love and trust.  But my goal for this particular blog and more so, my goal as I met with the Sovereign Lord, Maker of the universe, Lover of my soul, and soon-coming King , would be that He change me. If we Christians really believe that this time frame is drawing to a close, (not just saying we know what Scripture says but really believe it), we will be about the business of cooperating with His purifying work.( 1 John 2:28 and 3:3).

Brides go to a great deal of effort and expense (Dad's expense, mostly) to make themselves beautiful on that most special day. Listen, Believer, do you hear the footsteps of our Bridegroom approaching? (Eph. 5:26-27). Are we brave enough to bare our hearts (He knows them anyway) for Him to expose things we need to let the Holy Spirit change?  Maybe the better question is -are we broken enough to know that none of us have it all together? Are we not blessed enough to fall humbly before the Potter and let Him mold us as He deems fit? Do we buy the enemy's lies that we were born this way, after all, it's just my temperament and personality and like it or not, this is me?  Yes, we are wired a certain way by our Grand Designer but in each life and temperament, there are strengths to be honed and weaknesses to be pruned.

I have heard well-intentioned Christians, I am sure, almost sound that they are boasting that they haven't changed their minds one bit since they were saved. That is no reason for boasting but rather shame because our whole life and walk with the Lord should be about life change. "Yes, I see this in His Word now that I was missing before." "Yes, it finally dawned on me that this particular area in my life is keeping me from His best."  And so on.  Well, I spent about an hour and a half at Shiloh, in the Word with God talking to me and in prayer as I talked with Him. I looked at the red chair behind the Teacher's desk and recommitted to being pliable clay in the hands of a Most Capable Potter. I thought of the character in Hinds Feet on High Place, which I am reading currently, maybe for the tenth time since a wise lady introduced me to it some 15-20 years ago. (Definitely on my book club list) At the beginning of the allegory, her name is Much Afraid, a little timid lady with a crooked mouth and a limp as she walks. I identify with her as her heart's desire is to walk with her Shepherd on the high places and by the end of the book, her name is changed. ( I will resist telling you what it is, although I want to very badly.)  Before I left Shiloh, I prayed, "Lord, You have placed Your Omnipotent finger on a certain area of my heart and like Much Afraid, I shrink back because I get so comfortable with things remaining as they are but I am painfully aware now that You are creating a holy dissatisfaction in my heart and I praise You that You love me just as I am but You also love me too much to leave me that way! "  I opened my Bible to Philippians and heard Him say, "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Thank You, Sovereign Lord!!

Looking up, Deborah