Last weekend, we had our two precious ones for a sleepover and as Grandanny and Alicia enjoyed a game of checkers, I received a call from Amy that their much beloved Family Life Pastor was in critical condition suffering from kidney failure. I relayed the story to my husband believing that our granddaughter was already aware of the situation. With tears welling up in those beautiful blue eyes, she asked- "MaMa, are you talking about Bro. Don Shockley?" Then to my affirmative reply, with her voice breaking, she asked, "Is he going to die?"
In that pretty little face, I saw another little girl that I knew about fifty years ago. Her daddy, also, was a pastor and often, after returning from a hospital visit or funeral with the grief-stricken family, she would retire to her closed door bedroom and cry and try to sort out her struggles over bad things happening to God's people. She, seemingly, could not turn off too quickly the images of widows with hurts in their hearts and that grief showing on their faces. Quite vividly, she remembers praying for a little four-year old boy named Ricky who had been struck by a car and as her Daddy returned a few hours later and informed the family that Ricky did not make it, she became face to face with the reality that God did not always answer like she preferred and could not figure how why in this case. A small four-year old size casket just didn't seem right to her.
I hope that I haven't depressed you because the news gets better. Just hang with me, please. I wanted to tell Alicia only good news but we cannot shield our children and grandchildren from life and the fact of life being that it isn't always fair. Now, God is always good!!!!!! but life is not fair. It holds its griefs. In fact, just a couple of days after the news of their gravely ill friend, Alicia's daddy and mommy had to inform her that her best friend, Emma, is moving to Tennessee. I so appreciate my Amy's wisdom as she lay in the bed with her and told her that it is okay to cry- "I have cried too, Alicia,", she assured her- "because my friend, Windy, is leaving too."
When Danny and I were dating (way back in the days), we listened to some sixties music and one of my favorite female artists was Anne Murray. She had many hits, one being "Somebody's Always Saying Goodbye." Doesn't it seem that way? Goodbyes bring some sadness in our lives and that brings me to my Scripture that I have been reading this week. In Acts 20, Paul calls the Ephesian elders to share some final thoughts and an emotional farewell scene follows. My purpose, today, is to share some insights that will maybe help all of us as we glean from this departure between some people who loved each other dearly. Paul notes his tears three times in verses 17-38. It's okay to cry. Observe his transparency, saints. It is high time that we get honest and real, Christian brothers and sisters. Someone reminded us recently that on every pew is a broken heart. Almost four weeks ago, I cried for most of one day. When the doctor asked me why, I told him that I was worn down physically, spent emotionally, but the next day I got up again and resolved to go forward because I am trying to learn that whatever the Lord ordains is right.
I see Paul's tears and transparency in this section of Scripture but I also see his tenacity, the definition from Websters being holding firmly. In these few verses, we see his reason and his source (and ours) for holding firmly- God's grace. That is how we go on, knowing that God's past grace assures us of His future grace. Paul told these listeners that he did not know what lay ahead (neither do we) but he knew God and he knew God's grace is sufficient. We press on not only because of God's grace but God's goal for us. Matthew Henry said - "Our labours are appointed and our limits are appointed." Paul knew that and his goal was to finish his race well and his three years with these Ephesians had been spent wisely because he poured the Word of God into them. Giving Christ's church the whole counsel was his passion because "it's able to build you up and give you an imheritance among all those who are sanctified." We can banter politically and protest vehemently and blame dogmatically in this perverse and dark world we live in but the truth remains that the Word of God, the Gospel, the Good News, is the method of changing hearts and minds and lives! It is quite the scene at the end of this chapter. In the next chapter, Paul says they are breaking his heart and ours will be too, sooner or later but like Paul, we are to press on and understand too that when the saddest goodbye happens, that being the one where we "see their face no more", that as we see those in Christ depart this shore, we are to remember that they are arriving on the other shore, the one where our heart is because of the ONE "Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Heb. 12:2)
There is so much in this chapter concerning the heart of a man of God named Paul and his purpose and passion for living. But I will close with these few thoughts and leave you with a quote from a book called The Journey by Alister McGrath. That is what we are on- a journey, dear one. Keep that in mind, it will help you. He knows why you are here in this location for now. The people that He has placed in your path are not accidents. Give them your best as Paul did. Love them - yes, it will hurt when God chooses for them to go elsewhere (whether another location on earth or Heaven) but as one said one time "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." God , His grace and His glory are why we can look in the faces of our little ones who are just coming into the reality of life and assure them that the journey will end , our final destination be reached and we will rejoice that God had the reins all the time and did rule perfectly! I love this quote: "We shall never find the joy and wonder that we seek en route, even if we experience welcome anticipations of them along the road. Yet we are reassured of what awaits us at journey's end, and encouraged to long for this even more." Alister McGrath. I say Amen and Amen!
Looking, up, Deborah
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